Rhino Wars (RIP Javs One)

Javier didn’t have a car.
Biked fifteen miles
From suburbs
All the way downtown
In depths of night
In cold and rain
Wind and thunder.

Showed me
His portfolio of
Aerosol colors and life
Telling stories
Of broken hearts
And lost dreams.

Almost married once.
She was the reason
He moved here.
I didn’t think much about it.

At his place he showed me
Amazing rhino
Done in aerosol
Life-like large
Black background
Dark canvas
Night.

He said he liked to paint rhinos.
I didn’t see the significance.

One time on the
Way home from downtown
I pulled over
While he leaned against
My car
Putting a finger down
His own throat.
Green vomit
splattering
onto sidewalk.

“I never throw up,” Javier said, surprised.
He drank a lot of liquor that night.
I didn’t think it was a big deal.

In exchange for the ride
Took me to lunch the next day.
Saying, “Johnny, you need to eat.”
I had a lot of late bills.
But, I didn’t say too much about it.

At the Thai restaurant in Hillcrest
We chatted about CIA, Cocaine
And 9/11 and tower number 7.
How the world was not right.
We asked questions.
But, didn’t find the answers.

I told him I would call him up
And we would hang out
But I never found the time.
At least that’s what
I told myself.

I didn’t think too much about it then.

A few months later
In doorway
Next to the Rhino
Javier’s body
Levitated from ground
Hung limp
Attached to
A rope
Around his neck.

Heavy debt, a girl, and liquor
Were the causes.

Maybe
I should have
Thought about it.

- Johnny Tran